Archive for October, 2009

Fi’s Strength…

October 23, 2009

I am no longer worried about Fi being anything other than a strong, powerful and spunky little girl. She wants to come into this world now- whether she’s really ready to or not. I went into labor on Wednesday and was in the hospital yesterday as the doctors spent six hours stopping my contractions (which they were able to do successfully!) While the shots and IVs were unpleasant, and bedrest is certainly not fun, I am grateful for this experience because I feel like I really bonded with Fiona through this.

In my mind she is no longer a weak, introverted little girl but instead a total dynamo. I also got to see her on the ultrasound and she is darling! She has the fat cheeks of a cherub and a sweet button nose like Kay. Fi was also pounding her two little fists together and seemed so excited about coming into this world and our family.

I think that the anticipation of this strong little soul is really keeping me together as I spend much of my little Kay’s 2nd birthday away from her and
Patrick is in the office hard at work on a trial. This bedrest thing totally sucks but hopefully it will only be for a week or two. I am just grateful for an incredible mother-in-law who I know is taking amazing care of my Kay Bear.

I am going to be so relieved when this pregnancy is over and our spunky Fi is finally in my arms.

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What if Fi’s normal?

October 16, 2009

Needless to say, I’ve been thinking about Fiona a ton as her debut looms closer. She is already so different- Kay was a total sprinter in my tummy: big kicks and hits for short periods of time followed by long periods of stillness. She was also better at making me miserable and therefore engaging Patrick.

I received a very accurate glimpse of  Patrick as a dad right around this time when I was pregnant with Kay- she would do this thing where she would jam her toes in my ribs for a couple of minutes at a time and it was sheer torture. We were in a Thai restaurant and I was near tears and all of a sudden Patrick stood up, leaned over my stomach and started lecturing Kay and literally demanding that she move away from my ribs. Other people stopped eating their dinner and just watched us in awe mixed with confusion. I just sat there laughing as he went on and on, super frustrated that this little person already could care less what he wanted.

I know that in the discipline area, I have totally been a disappointment to Patrick. I am the soft one who just wants my baby girl to be happy and poor Patrick has been the tough one. He saw me as a nanny and was just sure he was going to get to be good cop. But alas, that has not been the case. I am sooo not the boss but as The Office has shown all of us, two bosses is really just not the best idea anyway.

So, back to Fi- she is more of a marathon kind of girl. She never really kicks or hits and as of yet has thankfully stayed pretty low. But the kid can move for hours at a time, seriously. Just slow, rolling movements that can last the entire afternoon (luckily I have found that most of the time I sleep through them just fine.) She already kind of seems like an introvert. What the heck are Patrick and I going to do with an introvert?!

What if she’s boring or shy? WHAT IF SHE’S NORMAL?! What if she doesn’t want to read with me and Kay, or doesn’t like the boat, or the beach… WHAT IF SHE GETS PATRICK’S SKIN?! Ugh… what if she doesn’t like watching Survivor? This will be a real test of nature vs. nurture. Kay has fit right into our family and is just like us.  I have a feeling that for better or worse, out of the two of them, Fi will be our little teacher.

Sweet Masochism…

October 6, 2009

I made a cobbler this afternoon, albeit sugar free. I am hoping that it will calm the sweet desperation I am feeling right now both for something yummy to eat and to get this baby out. I love Fi dearly but it took me five minutes to put socks on my cold feet after stubbing my toes because I couldn’t see the toy truck on the floor beyond my large stomach.

I thought that I would want this pregnancy to pass slowly so I could savor every last minute Kay and I would have alone together but instead I just can’t wait for her buddy to come. Abby is a really good second best though and it might take a while before the new kid can play fetch in the pool.

On another note, if I were David Letterman’s wife I would totally rather have him pay the freakin’ two million dollars or have the guy whacked than announce his indiscretions on television. Maybe I would feel differently if it actually happened to me but I don’t think so. It’s interesting how being married and having a family changes one’s perspective.

I think about good old Bill and how he adamantly denied “Having sexual relations with that woman” and at the time I thought he was such a bastard for denying what he had done but now I wonder if he was just trying to preserve his family. Of course it is best if cheating never occurs in the first place, but does ruining a spouse’s dignity and risking a child’s emotional health for the sake of honesty make anything better?

I don’t think that my morals are any different now that I’m a parent, but my compassion and the realization that we are all way more human than is convenient definitely affects how I view other people’s behavior. When I was only in charge of myself, it was easy to say what was right and wrong but now that I am part of a much larger and more important nuclear family I am much more hesitant to assume that I know  what’s best for others. Especially since right now instead of worrying about world peace or objective morality I am more concerned with not wetting my pants when I sneeze.