Would You Like Some Chili with Your Arsenic?

June 8, 2010

The fabulous Dr. G (my 60 year old, foul-mouthed Cuban therapist) gave me the assignment several months ago of cooking dinner for my family 4-5 nights a week. So I dusted off my cookbooks and my all-clad and went at it. For the first several months it went great and Patrick was super responsive and very quickly his fear was replaced with a full, happy tummy. (I used to be so inept in the kitchen, I once lit a pot holder on fire while boiling water.) However, over the last couple of weeks as I cooked healthier in order to get rid of the extra Teal that has been following me around since being pregnant with Kay, his appreciation has waned significantly.

I am starting to wonder of this whole cooking dinner thing is going to work out. I get that Patrick is not a small dude but seriously, does something always have to die in order for a meal to be acceptable to his Neanderthal palette? I spent three hours last night making amazing chili from scratch but he was less than excited about it because it was vegetarian. Oh, and he also doesn’t do leftovers. EVER.

A friend and I were talking the other day about all the things we do in the community and concluded that because a lack of gratitude can sour the experience of serving others, perhaps one needs to serve purely for service’ sake. This is much easier said than done, of course, especially when serving your dubious husband dinner.

But maybe I am not really cooking for him, but instead for both of us. Almost everything we eat now is from scratch and organic, and while I love it and am happy to eat kale and barley for the rest of my life, Patrick may not be. And if it’s hard for him to feign excitement the first night of spinach, then that second night it must be nearly impossible. (He is the guy who spends much of his free time dreaming about what one could possibly squeeze out of a can a la easy cheese.)

So I guess if Patrick doesn’t jump up and down in excitement over vegetarian chili and quinoa, then I can’t really hold it against him. Maybe I can compromise some and add a little Velveeta and sour cream to his breakfast burrito instead of trying to make him crunchy like yours truly.

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2 Responses to “Would You Like Some Chili with Your Arsenic?”

  1. Kristen Says:

    You know Teal, Rob and I are detecting a common theme in every one of your posts: You get pissed and overwhelmed, you hear about something sh*tty happening to someone else, and then you get happy. I think it’s time you just poison Pat and like…99.9% of your initial frustration would be gone. Then you could come live with Mom and Dad in NC and she could enrich your spirit with dead baby comments and freaking out over driving her car. It’s truly a simpler life up there…

  2. Sue Says:

    LOL I loved “my 60 year old, foul-mouthed Cuban therapist”. Seriously made me laugh.

    You know one of the things that drove me to want to learn to cook, besides being adult and having access to a cool kitchen and watching the Food Network incessantly, was that when I grew up and my mother cooked, she cooked with soooo many processed, salt-ridden, chemical laden foods. It’s not her fault, those products were introduced as the wave of the future and wholesome back in the day, but we know they just aren’t good for you. As an adult, when I realized how icky and unhealthy it all was, it drove me nuts. In college I adored spaghettios with franks, but one day looked at the sodium content and nearly died. When I realized the sodium content in the bullion cubes mom insisted on using in EVERYTHING, the packaged rice mixes, flavor packets… I swore from there I wanted to know how to make things from scratch, or without convenience foods and products, without a salt lick in every dish, with real flavor. Yes I did it in some sort of “The King (or Queen) Must Die” but also in a “I need to do this better for our sake” sort of way, to save us from disease and hypertension and all that mess.

    Really, you just care about what your family eats, and what they put into their system. You’ve had a scary time with Fi and of course you’re thinking about health and wellness. And of course your hubby is grumpy. Mr. Meat & Potatoes needs to see that what you do is out of love and caring, and there has to be a balance. Like for me, I’m not a veggie, I love meat, but I have a hard and fast rule now, red meat once a week, and that is it. It’s otherwise bad, so I try other things that are better. And just clonk Patrick on the head with a rolling pin if you need to πŸ˜‰

    As for Kale and Barley… I shall refrain from commenting. πŸ™‚ I tried to do Quinoa once and it was weird, crunchy not chewy, and not tasty.


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