Archive for July, 2010

Gotta Love Those Cadavers…

July 13, 2010

I am sad to say that over the past couple of weeks, reality TV has lost its allure and I am finding that Ali and the Housewives, yes- even Bethenny, just aren’t doing it for me anymore. I don’t know what’s going on considering my devotion to all things reality TV related has been one of the constants in my life for the past 10 years or so.

I guess I just got sick of watching other people live their lives (maybe mess up their lives is a more accurate description.) I feel like in a lot of ways, my own life is a lot better and more interesting than anything unscripted on TV. Kay is highly entertaining, and Fi is getting more interesting by the minute now that she is sitting up and knocking things over. The girls are growing so fast that frequently I find myself turning the TV off and watching them play and sing while I do the dishes instead. I read in The Happiness Project a couple of months ago that “the years are long but the days are short.” How true that is. (Clearly Oprah is the exception to all of this, I still watch her faithfully if it’s not a rerun.)

Patrick also got me a kindle and I am completely obsessed and reading like I did before college. I have read all sorts of bizarre books lately, namely one about ghosts and then currently a book called Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers. I had always thought that I would be cremated but it is amazing what useful things can be done with a dead body besides the important donation of organs. They are used for all sorts of things like crash test dummies and airplane safety measures, not to mention we owe all of our knowledge of the human body to dead people (the scientists and the bodies they cut open.) It’s a phenomenal book if you can handle a little, or a lot of gross outs.

Maybe instead of delving deeply into the gruesome I should just watch ghost hunters instead…

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My Petrified Uterus…

July 1, 2010

I have a couple of friends who are pregnant- I am so happy for them but at the same time it kills me. I always thought we would have 4+ kids and now the chances of that look pretty slim. I know that adoption is a beautiful thing and Patrick and I could love any child. But it is a scary prospect with a lot of unknowns. Would I always worry that an adopted child would feel different? Less loved? Would we, Heaven forbid, actually love an adopted child less or differently?

Don’t get me wrong, I am sooo grateful for the beautiful angels I have. And Fiona and Kay’s health problems most likely were a result of the massive amounts of medication I had to be on in combination with a lack of nutrients so it really is a game of Russian roulette. Not to mention I would lose almost 9 more months of my life (if I could carry a baby to term, which I can’t.)

I guess it is true that you can’t always get what you want but you can get what you need. I need my girls, but I also need to feel like I have all the options I want, whether that is realistic or not. Closed doors are so scary and they seem to pop up everywhere. Most of the time as a result of the choices I’ve made and so I’m okay with that, but this is simply because my body just won’t cooperate.

Sorry this isn’t particularly funny or witty but my uterus is a little cranky today and petrified of being laid to rest.